I experienced different type of trauma during childhood and my teenage years. There was so many heavy emotions that I never knew how to handle so they ended bottled up in my body and soul. As a coping mechanism I disassociated from my body and soul to conduct my life only from my head space. This worked for 20 years of my adult life until things slowly started to fall appart. During this time I have been ‘diagnosed’ with many labels including PTSD, C-PTSD, depression, fibromyalgia and exhaustion/burnout. Because I was so disconnected from myself, I spend most of my adult life in a war with my body, constantly dieting to lose weight.
I didn’t realise that my weight was the way my body was protecting me from all the pain, trauma and anger that it was holding on to. This culminated with bariatric surgery 11 years ago. I had very high hopes about the operation and simply thought that the happiness I was searching for would come with the surgery and my weight loss. Little did I know that my real healing journey was just beginning – after the bariatric surgery – but not the way I intended. The weight came off rather quick, I lost about 40 kg within 1,5-2 years after surgery. But I found myself emotionally, mentally and physically declining and I hit my health-rock bottom 6 years after the operation. My life literally changed when I read Bitten Jonssons book ‘Sugar bomb in your brain 3.0’ and attended a 4-day program with her.
I realised that I had developed an addiction to sugar and that this had been the underlying issue all along. This awareness became my rebirth and the first step of many towards optimal health. Once I eliminated sugar/flour from my diet and detoxed my body through a biochemical repair, my brain fog started to lift and as if I just woke up I could now SEE, innerstand and embody myself body, mind and soul. I also found yoga and ayurveda, the two go hand-in-hand. With ayurveda I finally remembered the connection our body and organs have with our mind and soul. Everything is connected and as the saying goes, as within so without.